remainder

remainder, wiki says:
amount “left over” after performing the division of
two integers which do not divide evenly

we are remainders
of what is left of what remains
of what stays 
of our uneven amounts 
of our love and time 
and space

lest you forget this
or I forget – or we
force deselect 
such shared memories 
please
keep in our souls,
I hope, what is left
to stay 

let the remainders
remain of 
what we, remainders, 
have remained 

When a Woman Loves a Man

by David Lehman

When she says margarita she means daiquiri.
When she says quixotic she means mercurial.
And when she says, “I’ll never speak to you again,”
she means, “Put your arms around me from behind
as I stand disconsolate at the window.”

He’s supposed to know that.

When a man loves a woman he is in New York and she is in Virginia
or he is in Boston, writing, and she is in New York, reading,
or she is wearing a sweater and sunglasses in Balboa Park and he
is raking leaves in Ithaca
or he is driving to East Hampton and she is standing disconsolate
at the window overlooking the bay
where a regatta of many-colored sails is going on
while he is stuck in traffic on the Long Island Expressway.

When a woman loves a man it is one ten in the morning
she is asleep he is watching the ball scores and eating pretzels
drinking lemonade
and two hours later he wakes up and staggers into bed
where she remains asleep and very warm.

When she says tomorrow she means in three or four weeks.
When she says, “We’re talking about me now,”
he stops talking. Her best friend comes over and says,
“Did somebody die?”

When a woman loves a man, they have gone
to swim naked in the stream
on a glorious July day
with the sound of the waterfall like a chuckle
of water rushing over smooth rocks,
and there is nothing alien in the universe.

Ripe apples fall about them.
What else can they do but eat?

When he says, “Ours is a transitional era,”
“that’s very original of you,” she replies,
dry as the martini he is sipping.

They fight all the time
It’s fun
What do I owe you?
Let’s start with an apology
Ok, I’m sorry, you dickhead.
A sign is held up saying “Laughter.”
It’s a silent picture.
“I’ve been fucked without a kiss,” she says,
“and you can quote me on that,”
which sounds great in an English accent.

One year they broke up seven times and threatened to do it
another nine times.

When a woman loves a man, she wants him to meet her at the
airport in a foreign country with a jeep.
When a man loves a woman he’s there. He doesn’t complain that
she’s two hours late
and there’s nothing in the refrigerator.

When a woman loves a man, she wants to stay awake.
She’s like a child crying
at nightfall because she didn’t want the day to end.

When a man loves a woman, he watches her sleep, thinking:
as midnight to the moon is sleep to the beloved.
A thousand fireflies wink at him.
The frogs sound like the string section
of the orchestra warming up.
The stars dangle down like earrings the shape of grapes.

 

dying

is there more pain than to die
slowly in the hands of your loved?

i lie in the bed hearing the constant
beeping of the medical monitor
jumping  back and forth my ears

i can taste the gush of life as it
slowly walks out of my mouth
-vitality marching pass my nostrils

heart slowing like an ebbing motor
all this shall pass
shall pass with you on bedside

for the last time
kiss me like cold death
through this kiss
take my last breath

 

To the girl with a pretentious smile

girl with a pretentious smile
whose hair falls down like a broken plane
and eyes that denies poetry
I miss you so much

girl with a smile so fake I loved
and mouth that so carefully plaster the sweetest
“fuck off and eat lunch”
where are you now?

never did I saw again sparks on your
wrinkled, dried lips
(i told you, salivate them)
still i yearn for those to be near mine

why of all days I reminisce you?
to the sunken nowhere, will i find you?

To love is a better gift

a friend once told me
to love is a better gift
than be loved
but how can it be if
it cracks your skull?

unrequited love, a story told
for thousand years
in different voices 
for time manifold 

i want to believe to love
is a better gift,
to endure, to hold, to love
with seeming fearlessness
even if not quite appreciated

or returned
such bravery – quixotic

is this how brave you were
when you loved me unrequitedly?